What Is Feminine Energy, Really? Why Trying to ‘Be More Feminine’ Might Be Fragmenting Your True Self
Why I Started Questioning My Femininity
I was talking to a friend the other day.
She was sharing how she thought she was too masculine in her own nature because she is the first child and the big sister of the family.
As a big sister myself, it reminded me of the time when I was also questioning myself — whether I was just naturally too masculine as a girl.
I had a dilemma: thinking I needed to become more feminine in order to be liked by anyone,
but at the same time, I was struggling to change who I was.
Because the truth is, I am who I am because of my life destiny.
The essence in us that makes us unique is not something that can be easily changed — and as I come to think about it more,
I also come to appreciate my own personality a lot more.
The Irony: Feminine Women Wanting to Be “More Feminine”
What I find interesting is,
a lot of girls who want to be more feminine or want to embody more feminine energy
are already very feminine people I know.
Feminine energy is a new concept — in the past, we never questioned ourselves:
whether we are feminine enough,
or whether we should become more feminine or masculine.
This term only emerged in the past few years, and it’s an interesting topic worth exploring.
So… What Is Feminine Energy?
Feminine energy is intuitive and nurturing,
whilst masculine energy is assertive and dominant.
Some common traits associated with feminine energy are:
gentle
intuitive
creative
empathetic
nurturing
receptive
I would describe it like flowing water — the interconnectedness with the soul and the heart.
Traits associated with masculine energy include:
stable
logical
protective
honest
ambitious
I would describe it like a hard rock that is grounded — or knowledge of discernment and righteousness.
The “Feminine Era” Trend Online
The term “feminine energy” has been popularized in recent years.
As the anti-feminist movement arises,
more influencers talk about how to be in your feminine era.
Somehow, in these videos, it’s always a pretty lady
with a full face of makeup and dressed in a very feminine way,
emphasizing how women should have certain feminine qualities
— while ignoring or even diminishing the masculine traits which are also important for us to thrive in the world.
This creates an image of a cookie-cutter role model that’s being pushed on young women across generations.
Feminine Energy ≠ Makeup or Dresses
It’s common sense,
but I just want to say it:
Wearing makeup, pretty dresses, or high heels doesn’t give you more feminine energy.
Sure, it may make you look more feminine at first glance,
but once people get to know you,
who you are truly shows — from the inside out.
And the same applies to men.
We All Have Both Energies
Everybody has both feminine and masculine energy.
In fact, we cannot function without traits from both sides.
Whether you’re working or not,
women need masculine traits like:
honesty
assertiveness
organization
planning
These help us contribute as responsible human beings.
Men need feminine traits too:
to be gentle, caring, and emotionally connected.
To protect others, you must have empathy.
Your Upbringing Shapes You — And That’s Okay
We are who we are because of how we were brought up,
our cultural background, the people around us, and past experiences.
None of us chose the family, culture, or environment we were born into.
This is all part of God’s plan.
There’s no need to shame how we are,
or try to mold ourselves into someone else’s idea of a “real woman” or a “real man.”
Being Yourself Is Already Feminine (or Masculine) Enough
A woman being herself is already feminine in her natural state.
A man being himself is already masculine.
God intended this to be so natural,
that it shouldn't require massive effort, online courses, or TikTok tutorials
to become more feminine or masculine.
The Danger of Forcing Yourself to Be “More Feminine”
When you push yourself to be more feminine than you naturally are,
you’re actually rejecting your masculine side.
You’re fragmenting yourself —
and this can create deep shame and imbalance within.
The goal should not be to “feminize” or “masculinize” yourself.
The goal should be to become your most natural self — whole and in balance.
We All Carry Baggage
We all have emotional wounds or past conditioning
that may have pulled us away from our natural balance of yin and yang.
Healing takes time.
And it’s through this healing that we return to who we’re meant to be.
Final Word: You Are Imperfectly Perfect
So my last word is this:
Keep healing the wounds.
Keep working on yourself.
Keep following what inspires you to be the better version of yourself
— the one that truly aligns with your spirit.
And if there is a final version of you at the end of all this?
That version will be the most authentic you —
imperfectly perfect to God.